A bit of a local derby here, as high-pitched hatstand Kate Bush, takes on fellow Mockney oddball Bowie. Expect this bout to start with much weird dancing, mime-artistry, and absurd costume-wearing. The ‘fight’ will doubtless climax in a crescendo of interpretive dance, and shadow-boxing, with a suitably confused panel of judges left to make sense of the drama.

Who’ll create the greatest artistic impression, the Rubber Band Girl or the Man with Thursday’s Child in his Eyes?

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Tags: Celebrity boxing, Joe the Lionheart, Kate Bush, Mime Artist