The lissom Bowie is actually a few stone heavier than waif-like nutter Michael Jackson, and on the face of it Jacko stands no chance against his trans-Atlantic rival. Nevertheless, the sheer lunacy of Michael can not be overlooked. One suspects that Jackson may well have spent many nights ‘neath a covered wooden shaft’, and the Scary Monster from Neverland has the potential to make Bowie truly afraid of Americans.

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Following the recent death of Michael Jackson, your host, Stewart Steak, has been wracked by a lingering guilt. Should Bowie´s Beef polls be discontinued in the event of a featured celebrity dying? Should one always show respect for the dead? Or is two-faced, self-censorship a crime against artistic truth? In the event of anybody bothering to vote in this poll over the next month or two, their opinion will count.

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Tags: Earthling Song, I'm Afraid of Americans, Michael Jackson, The China Girl is Mine, The Man Who Sold the Earth Song